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The Man(di) Cave
It’s not every day that we get to have three men on our blog at the same time. Actually, it’s not every day, it’s once a month, and this month, I’m happy to introduce you (as if you don’t already know them) to three of our favorite guys here at SisterWives.
You’ve most likely seen all three write for us. They’ve each been here at least once, and we welcome their charm any chance we can, so please put your hands together for the men on the hot seat today:
Ned writes Ned’s Blog, Humor at the Speed of Light.
Art who writes Pouring My Art Out.
Matticus who writes The Matticus Kingdom
Let’s get to the fun and get this party started. Welcome to this installment of:
In your opinion, what are the biggest misconceptions women have about men?
That’s an easy one. Women have the misconception that men are obsessed with their boobs. That is a complete falsie! But since you asked, I’m going to give you my nipple’s worth. It really comes down to a large pair of misunderstandings that are constantly being shoved in our faces. Both are related to men’s basic instincts. In fact, if mammary serves from high school biology, we are genetically hardwired as hunters and protectors to keep abreast of dangers or potential teets threats to those we love. When we appear to be looking at your breasts during conversation, we aren’t staring! We are assessing your overall safety relative to your surroundings. The larger your breasts, the bigger the danger. I’ve been married almost seven years, and I can tell you I have hardly slept because my wife is constantly in enormous danger!
But it’s a burden I gladly grope with every day because I love her and want the breast for her and our marriage.
So yeah, being labeled as “boob-obsessed” kind of sucks.
I’m sorry. Did you say something?
Oh… the biggest misconception is that you think we ever actually listen to you when there is nothing in it for us… HA! See what I did there? That was a joke. No, let me clarify that. It was a joke when I said it. We all know damn well that there are too many men out there that feel that way. The ones that call you “Hon” and “Sugar” and wonder what you are doing in a place of business instead of a kitchen. And the sad thing is that there are more guys who pretend they aren’t like that than there are actual guys who aren’t like that. Just like there are racists in the world who pretend they aren’t. I hate those guys. As the man who was, proudly, the first to beg, grovel and whimper to be allowed to be a semiofficial sister/brother/husband/wife, I see that we need to respect you without putting you on such a high pedestal that we can look up your skirt… uh… so to speak… We need to cherish you without treating you like porcelain dolls, we need to love you without ever dominating or bullying you, and we need to treat you as equals even though obviously you are way more advanced and on a whole other plain of existence than we can ever hope to be.
Hah. Very funny. Everyone knows that women are perfect and, therefore, cannot possibly have any misconceptions about anything, including men. While I do agree we are an anomaly, we still fall within “anything.” Nice try, though. Very sneaky of you to make the first question a trick one and try to catch me off guard. But, were we to reside in some alternate dimension where women may not be as perfect, potentially, hypothetically, perhaps one misconception they might have about men is that we never grow up. We just get bigger, and more expensive, toys. This isn’t true at all, of course. Well, the toy part is. We definitely get way better toys as we age, but we do “grow up,” too. Sometimes it is just easier to go along with the misconception and let the women in our lives think we don’t know anything about responsibility and maturity and on and on… Anyway, we do grow up. I have the wrinkles and receding hair line to prove it.
Speaking of misconceptions, what is the most annoying thing we, as women, do that you would change if you could?
(Warning: Mushy zone ahead) I must begin my answer with a heartfelt disclaimer, which is that my wife is unlike any woman I have ever met — which is why I thank the heavens, blind luck, fate and The Force every day for giving her a long enough lapse in judgement to marry me. Honestly, the things I might consider annoying in other women simply don’t exist in my wife. Even her voice is perfect. That being said, there are certainly stereotypical female traits that men find annoying and WON’T HESITATE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT, DAMN IT! As long as there aren’t actually any women around.
Generally speaking, the traits men find “annoying” about women almost always comes down to communication; women crave it and a lot of men (present company excepted, of course) would rather listen to SportsTalk. I’m a communicator, so I suppose the one annoying thing I’d change about women would be how often they are actually right about things.
Seriously, just decide where you want the freakin’ couch to go before you ask us to move it. Take a photo of the dang thing and hold it up in front of you to line it up with where you think you want it. Or buy a home design software program that lets you play with layouts of your own house. Whatever it takes to not have to move the couch a bunch of times.
Would you please stop being so damn sexy?
Said no man, ever.
Assuming we are still in the theoretical alternate reality where women aren’t perfect, then it would be wonderful if you could stop trying to multi-task all the time. Yes, you are better at it than men. That’s fine. You don’t have to prove it at every opportunity. Calm down, relax, and enjoy being present in one activity or thought from time to time. You may be less productive that way, but you might find that you like it. No, I can’t crochet a blanket, watch a TV show, hold a conversation, and plan out the meals for the week all at the same time. But, when the show is over I will have actually experienced it, and could then turn the TV off and help with the meal planning and have a real face to face conversation. I can’t do the crocheting thing even then, though. That’s just one of my failings.
Now let’s get romantic. *lights candles* How do you woo your girl? What was the last thing you did for her to make her feel treasured? What can we to show you the same?
How do I get the romance started? Ha! I just drop my boxer briefs and yell, “Come and GET it, Baby cakes! Oh, and grab a beer on the way!”
*slaps own face repeatedly*
Whoa! Sorry! Apparently I was channeling the Hillbilly Porn Network. Actually, I’m a firm believer in the the importance of “everyday” romance, i.e., I try to woo my wife every day with small gestures. I think that’s important. Especially since we sleep together. If I leave for work early, I always make her a pot of coffee and leave a note with it. Admittedly, those notes have been toned down quite a bit over the years since the kids learned to read, but I still leave them; rain or shine, I always open the car door and make sure she’s belted in before I get in. She appreciated this sacrifice because she knows, living in a town with a lot of senior citizen drivers, the longer I’m outside the car the bigger the chance I’ll be struck by a Lincoln Towncar. Even if I’m on the sidewalk.
So I guess my answer would be: With small gestures, every chance I get.
At least until I get taken out by a driver with a AARP card.
Writing for this blog is always a challenge. The more heartbreaking the post, the more my instincts drive me to try to find some aspect of it that I can make funny. But I will not make romance into a joke. The short answer is that I have some unfair advantages over my fellow men when it comes to romance. In the first place, I am 6 feet 4 inches tall and singularly attractive. I also have marvelous legs… still… Back in my younger days, when I had long hair and was something of a bad ass, I was that rare combination of well-raised bad boy that drives women wild. I had that air of danger, yet you instinctively knew that your were safe with me. You knew I wasn’t going to take advantage of you in any way. On top of that, there is my weird all-art-side-of-the-brain thing that, while making it almost impossible for me to function in the real world or be any kind of success in business, does allow me to write moving love songs and poetry, to paint and to draw and express myself in tender words of love. Also, I seem to be instinctually romantic. Add that to being a natural-born artist, and I could pick the best bouquet of flowers because I see the colors, and I knew all the irresistible spots to watch a sunset, because I value those things. Very few women can resist an onslaught of a love song being written for them, a painting done in their honor, flowers picked that match your eyes, tender words of adoration strung together lovingly and whispered in your ear while the sun descends and the sky burns with radiant colors that match the very mood within your soul. Also, women knew that it wasn’t an act. It was the real me. It still is the real me. Also, I have guitar player fingers… so… uh… yeah…
As for what you can do for us, well, you just be you, you… I mean, unless you are bug-ass crazy… then maybe not.
I lean in close, so my lips are so close to her ear I can breathe in her smell, so our skin can feel the warmth radiating off each other, and then I whisper, “woo.”
What? That could totally work… Okay, probably not, but I haven’t actually tried it yet, so you never know. What I do actually do to woo the Queen is anything and everything I can to make her life easier. Dishes, laundry, vacuuming, this, that, and the other. You can call me, Mr. Chore of the Matticus Kingdom. Being helpful around the house has a proven track record of being successful around 5% of the time, which leads to *censored* *censored* *censored* while my *censored* *censored* *censored* and she *censored* *censored* *censored.* Then, when we are done, she usually says, “yeah, that was satisfactory.” Honestly, it shouldn’t even be called the Matticus Kingdom anymore. We have been fully taken over by the Toddlerocracy and the tyrannical rule of the Little Prince. The last thing I did for her, to make her feel treasured, was change all of the Little Prince’s diapers one day. All of them. Even the completely destroyed ones I had to immediately take to the hazardous materials bin and launch into the sun. And to make me feel treasured? Perhaps this is just me, though I suspect it pertains to most men and the women in their lives, but the Queen could smile in my general direction and I’d be riding a high for the foreseeable future. Just show us a little attention and we’ll be yours. A wink. A lingering touch. A flirty smile. It all works and it is all wonderful.
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Well, this was fun for me. What do you think? Let’s have some fun with the guys in the comment section and get the conversation started? Do you think they nailed our misconceptions, ladies? Guys, did they leave any of our most annoying qualities out? What other questions do you have? We plan to run this once a month, so if you leave a good question in the comment section, you might see it pop up with a different group of guys in the coming months.
This is awesome. You guys are incredible writers and I’m crushing on all of you right now.
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Me too.
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Thank you!
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Hooray. It’s nice to be crushed (on) by something other than she rambunctious toddler for some change. (Seriously, I think he busted one of my ribs the other day.)
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Also… I think you forgot something… (frist?)
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I am crushing on myself right now…
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I wouldn’t say, “that’s the best way to do it,” but, it is sometimes useful/necessary.
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I don’t do it all day every day… I get to tired
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Too much…. pressure?
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seems like
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It happens.
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yeah it does
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This is SO good! Funny as hell, and also very sweet. I’m with Michelle. I’m crushing on all of you.
But I was before. So now I’m REALLY crushing on you.
Mandi, these guys are too good to be true! Art with his sunset and flowers, Matticus with the chores, Ned opening the car door? What alternate universe is this? I WANT TO LIVE IN THIS BLOG POST, CAN THAT BE ARRANGED?
*leaps into the computer screen*
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*shoves hands into computer screen trying to catch Samara*
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WAIT SAMARA! I knew I don’t have high-speed Internet!
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Maybe we should give up our own blogs and just live here…
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Also, for the record, I am 6 feet 4 inches tall… and have size 15 feet…
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I know. I read all of that and thought, pfft..these guys are lying. Right? Does anyone open car doors anymore? And chores and sunsets…panty dropping talk right there.
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I rarely lie… except when I say that I prefer dos equis…
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I will drive you to see the sunset, open the car door, and clean check the oil and tire pressure on your car while we are there…
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Thank goodness Art didn’t start talking about his guitar player hands earlier in the post…I may not have got to finish reading. What was that part again about a “well raised bad boy that drives women wild.” If I wasn’t already married to one of those, I’d sign up!
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*ahem*
woo
Honestly, I’m not sure why that took so long… but, you threw in the ice cream and I couldn’t help myself.
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That was fun!!
And I thought I was bringing the funny, but Ned and Art showed me how it is really done. Great stuff, you two.
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Don’t sell yourself short, Matticus! Wait, how tall are you? Never mind. It doesn’t matter. You’re a total hoot! (Can we say “hoot” here?)
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If we’re 90.
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6′ 1″ But, compared to Art, that is short, so it’s all a matter of perspective…? That, or I need more coffee…
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I’m also 6’1″, so with Art at the post position we’re half way to a basketball team! Except I can’t dribble…
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See Mandi? Yet another reason why I LOVE these guys.
I have a thing for tall men. Purrrrr
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You know what they say about tall men…
No, really. I’d like to know.
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Ha… my reply about how tall I am went to the wrong place ahead of your answers… and now it just looks like I am bragging for no reason… instead of the actual reason… which was to outdo you…
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We already figured that out, Art.
That you’re bragging, I mean… 😉
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I have so little else that sets me apart… and above… everybody else… but this one accident of birth… also, because I weighed like 4 pounds when I was born and was so sick that nurse fought over who had to give me my shots… and this was all before I was adopted by my new family, I take pride in having achieved this lofty viewpoint!
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Oh, stop…
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Wait…I copied an pasted. Where is it supposed to go, and I’ll fix it? I’m sorry, ARt…
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totally okay… I sent the answers with the questions still attached… it was confusing… I confuse people… just and the; “I’m sorry, did you say something?” before the “Oh, the biggest misconception” part at the beginning of the very first question, and all the ladies will love me more and ignore those other two imposters…
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I am not an imposter!
(he says from his secret account.)
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Do you even know how to snowboard?
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How did snowboarding come up?
But, yes… I know how to strap myself onto a piece of plastic and launch myself off the side of a mountain.
It’s rather self-explanatory… really…
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You did a post about it… I was checking that this was the real you…
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I am the real me… last time I checked. I guess that could have changed in the interim… How would I know for sure?
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I would know…
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That’s good enough for me.
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HA!
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1) I read this while drinking coffee at stop lights, which was a poor decision, in retrospect. Since you rejected all of my questions, AGAIN, I was afraid I was going to be disappointed but I was so not, did, in fact, fall a little in non-threatening love with all three of them. I’m going to giggle about Hillbilly porn, guitar fingers and “launch into the sun,” all day. K so – my non-horrifying question, should you choose to accept it, is: What is sexy? And you can’t say “boobs.” Well done, gentlemen!
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I used your question lady!! #1
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There is a complicated answer and a simple answer. Complicated: A woman with an intelligent sense of humor who, at the same time, isn’t afraid to laugh at fart jokes in the middle of a fancy restaurant even though everyone has already noticed her because she smiled when she walked in.
Short answer: My wife
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Perfect answer. 🙂
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Sigh.
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Show off!
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Speaking of your wife…you need to market that laughter of hers. It’s as gorgeous as she is. Being she is married to you, I’m sure you hear it all the time. I first heard it when she took the video of you humping a lion (or something like that). I remember thinking, ‘that is the laugh of a woman in love.’
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Awwwwww! So true on all counts (Though the lion may disagree). As I mentioned, there’s nothing I would change about her. And her laugh is at the top of the list 😉
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Sexy: yes.
That’s my “problem” anyway.
I’m not complaining.
Also, ditto Ned’s answer, because I couldn’t say it any better….
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Ned’s wife will be so surprised….
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If she is, I need to work harder.
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Sexy is that feeling when you are so comfortable with someone and feel so safe that you can do anything…
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See, now that’s what I think! And then someone breaks out an attorney…. :):)
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Well, you both have to feel the same way for it to work.
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Hmmm…. yes, I see now. Since I “dittoed” Ned’s answer, His wife is my defintion of sexy… Based on his comments of her, I stand by my answer.
Though, The Queen (my wife) also perfectly fits too. Soooo, yeah.
Also, I stand by my original assertation as well, the definition of sexy is, and always shall be, “yes.”
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I hate it when my jokes fail. 🙂 Fortunately, it happens a lot…. 🙂
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It didn’t fail… It just took me a “minute” to catch up. That’s my fail, not yours. It’s even more my fail since I’d considered the same implications about my comment as I was typing it…
I blame the lack of blood in my coffee stream this morning.
Wait… did I type that right?
Yes. Yes, I did.
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This is my favorite Man(di) Cave yet! You guys are the best, seriously. I literally giggled out loud about five times, and I was grinning throughout. Very funny, yet sincere. ME LIKEY.
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I’m a huge fan of giggles.
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We are the only three men like us anywhere in all the known universes…
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There’s probably a galactic law about that.
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they broke the mold… and the fungus…
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molds and fungi…
sorry, but there are 3 of us… plural seemed better…
😛
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You make a valid point…
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ME TOO
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Oh… by the way….
woo
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You’re becoming a slut, Matticus.
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I’m with Michelle, Matt and Samara! You men are hot, hot, hot! I’ve yet to “meet” Matticus but he can whisper, “woo” in my ear anytime! Ned can protect me from my dangerous breasts and I need Art to move my couch after we watch the sunset. 🙂
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Um…
Woo
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THANK YOU! 🙂
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You’re welcome.
Anytime.
Really… I’m full of woos.
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Ha,ha!
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Why do all my plans backfire these days… there was a time in my life when women wanted me to move their couch… and their whole world… in a whole other way…
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Hee,hee. You still got it, Art. 🙂
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yay
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Well technically she didn’t say you would be lifting the couch to move it… 🙂 Read into that what you will hahaha
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One is hard on the back, the other hard on the knees… either way… ow
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If I were to protect your breasts, it would indeeed be very dangerous. Mostly for me.
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Well, I wouldn’t want you to get in trouble with your lovely wife so I’ll continue to let my husband be my breast guard.
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Hahaha! Good plan 😉
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What BHC said…especially the “woo” thing – that was amazing 😀
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I hope Matticus woos you too! I got wooed. 🙂
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I SAW! I was totally envious…
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Lizzi, she of the amazing hats, this is for you…
woo
You’re welcome.
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*shivers with delight and melts into a puddle of happiness*
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Oh! Metled happy Lizzi.
I’m not sure it gets much better than that…
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I’m sure it does…leastways, I sincerely hope so 😉
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hee hee… you said ‘the woo thing’…
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Ohhhh but Art…did you read it? The lips close to the nape of the neck, so that you can feel the heat from skin to skin and catch the subtle fragrance of shampoo and soap, and then, leaning close, heartbeat raised, and to whisper….”woo”
Hella sexy…
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Oh, I hear you… What I used to think was both funny and sexy was, the first time I slept with a new partner, I would show them a glow-in-the-dark-condom, then leap out of bed to turn off the lights. With my back turned to them I would blow the condom up like a balloon as big as I could get it, then turn around holding it at waist level… just to hear that hilarious intake of breath from across the room…
(Ladies, that was a joke, and was intended only for comedic purposes, and if I crossed the line, I apologize and remind you all that I do a humor blog… that being said, guys, try this with your significant other… either on April Fools Day or Valentines day… which ever will get the bigger laugh)
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*snorks*
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Wait a minute here … this is my cave. Why am I not getting woo’d? *stomps off to eat ice cream*
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*Sneaks up behind you, takes the ice-cream bowl from your hand, spins you around til you’re dizzy, then hugs you and very gently, whispers “Woo” in your ear*
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Oh, that one was a good one.
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I can ‘woo’ with the best of ’em 🙂
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Yeah you can!!!
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We likey you too, Beth!
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Fantastic answers…all 3 of you! Seriously, you guys rock!
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Thank you!
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Aren’t they fabulous? I’m making them all come back again. Together!!
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Wooohooooo!!!!
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I’m not a slut! I’m full of woos. Two very different things. *stamps foot for emphasis*
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If you say so …
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I do say so. Or, rather… I did say so. But, now the moment has passed, and looking back on it, perhaps I regret a woo or two.
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Pingback: Today, I’m getting personal with The Sisterwives | Ned's Blog
So much awesome here. That is all.
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With your arrival it is now even more awesomer.
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So this is what being a rock star feels like… I knew it…
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wait… and I don’t mean to quibble… but can I ask for a quick edit favor…?
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Yes!!!
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yay… thanks…
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I KNEW you liked Art best!
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I don’t have favorites, Ned. But *whispers* this might be my favorite team.
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It’s just that the first sentence of my first answer is missing… it should say; “I’m sorry, did you say something?” before it goes into the rest of it… that is sort of the whole joke… I can see why, the way I sent it to you there was some confusion…
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I’ll fix it.
Right now.
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I mean, don’t go to any trouble… my lawyer says I can’t sue… so whatever man… HA!
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… and since, you know, I am still sucking up and brown-nosing like crazy to get to keep my semi-official title as the fist sister/brother/husband/wife, I want to be as funny as I can possibly be… without getting my face slapped…
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Sometimes it’s nice to get slapped… st least then you know you are being payed attention to…. or, is that just me…?
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I will get slapped… but I will not be misquoted!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!… or partially quoted… or taken out of context… or be made less funny… dammit… tall and funny are all I have… sob!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Tall, funny, and artistic…
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triple threat…
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And you can count!!
Oh dang… you’re the whole package!!
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I can count if I use my fingers and toes… all the ay to 21… if I’m naked…
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Not judging, and trying not to assume, but if you were naked, shouldn’t you be able to count to 23…?
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you are over thinking this… and that’s just nuts… seriously… stop thinking about those… I mean… uh… this…
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I rarely get accused of overthinking things. So, thank you.
But, nuts, I mean, dang, now I can’t stop thinking about… well, counting. Cuz math is awesome.
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This does not add up.
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… and then, you know, you could even edit these comments out after you edit that one line in… although leaving them would certainly fulfill all your expectations of me being a self-centered, self-absorbed, crack squirrel-infested goofball…
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… or I could just keep typing comments to myself to bump up the stats and make us guys look even more popular…
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I’m not sure that’s possible.
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oh… I can type a long time… wait…
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MandiMandiMandiMandiMandiMandiMandiMandi………
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Oh man… I kill me…
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It isn’t just you…
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uh oh
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*snorks* I loved the post, and then I got to the comments and I love the comments more, I think 😀
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That happens to me all the time!!
Which, I’m pretty sure is a good thing.
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YAY! 🙂 I think y’all did really well
GREAT fun. And the playing, afterwards, too. That’s awesome.
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It’s all fun and games until…
No. Wait… It IS all fun and games.
Hooray!
(And thank you for the praise. You know how to keep us writers adding those wordy words onto the blank pages of the world.)
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I think that’s one of my favourite things – that you lads are SO eager to join in and play – makes the comments into an adventure and I LOVE that.
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This is like a live show… the pressure is tremendous… the crack squirrels do not like pressure… oh boy…
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The crack squirrels are nuts.
Nuts don’t like pressure.
Have to be treated gently.
This I know *nods*
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and yet so often life kicks us right there….
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I won’t offer to rub better…
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That isn’t really a viable medical option past a certain point, just so you know…
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Something to do with pliers, at that point, hmm?
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no… just too painful for any contact at all… no matter how well-meant.
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Poor nuts 😦
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yup
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I do love a good live show. What kind of music accompanyment do we get today?
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Classic 70’s rock… the hard stuff… none of that bubblegum music.
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A play?! Great! I get to be king! (Hey, I already have the kingdom.)
What? I have to be the jester… still? Fine.
I guess stick with what I know.
*dons jester cap and proceeds to dance around the blogosphere*
tra la la la lah!
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Works for me – I’m the clown, and we all go roundy roundy roundy and laugh and laugh and laugh (but right now I’m gonna go box)
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Also. I’m partial to adventure. True story, “I promise adventure,” is/was part of the vows the Queen and I took when we got married.
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That’s amazing *swoons*
I crapped out – didn’t make mine promise to communicate effectively. Ah well. Live and learn.
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The Jester and boxing Clown enter the ring… their feet dancing, dancing, dancing.
She swings and he ducks, but just barely… still his laughter is singing, singing.
She swings again, and connects… the birds around his head are chirping.
The clown pulls up the jester and they share a chuckle, for the play within the play, is just getting started.
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Falling, jumping, tumbling around
Clown and Jester fly off ground
High-wire walking, stunt-trapeze
Cirque du Soleil got naught on these
Circling around in paso doble
Tango-fighting seems as though they
Jab and miss and cross and weave
Smiles and sparkles – can you breathe?
Shimmer sweat and play with fears
Dancing, dancing, smile through tears.
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And then Lizzi comes in and out raps me. Daaayummm.
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Ah I don’t think mine could be classed as a ‘rap’, particularly…
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You liked the comments more than the woo? I have to admit, I liked it all!
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I *did* like the woo, very much…and now I’ve had TWO woos (and so did you…)
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I know. My phone has been blowing up all day, and I’ve only had about a quarter of the time I need to come in and play around in here.
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Since it is your cave…
woo
There, now you’ve been wooed twice. 😉
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It’s so FUN. You can play when you can…this post is AWESOME 😀
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It’s my favorite!!!
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I LOVE IT. Heheheh
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I know!! I kind of want to do it again soon with these three, but I have to give some others a chance, ya know?
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*grins* Yeah, I guess…but these lads are FUN
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Squirrels. Nuts. Adventure. Clowns. Crapping out.
It’s amazing what I missed just getting a refill on my coffee. I just wanted to say what a great time this has been, and how much I enjoyed “representing” with Art and Mattiucs. You both have been added to my bucket list of people to share a beer and/or coffee with some day. Hopefully at the same time. And by that I mean getting together, not drinking coffee and beer simultaneously.
Thanks for having us, Ladies!
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This is a plan I wholeheartedly support. And, since Art and I are both in southern California, come on down.
Coffee first, then beer. Call me old fashioned if you must, but that’s how I roll. And then, after breakfast, I move on to whisky. A nice single malt, aged 18 years… (insert inappropriate jokes here if you want)
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My old stomping grounds! (Southern Calif, not liquored up 18 year olds)
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Perfect. You’re familiar with the… area. Southern California. SoCal. So Cali! Yes, that’s definitely what we are talking about here… Definitely.
So, really, what are you waiting for?
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You’re on my summer vacation destination list now. Then again, so is visiting Denmark. I’d say a So Cal trip has better odds.
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we could totally do that… and take pictures of all of us… and drive the ladies wild…
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*claps* Yes, do this. But I get to come. Again … this is the Man(di) Cave.
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If you think you can survive being surrounded by that much sexy… and testosterone… and jokes…
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I will survive. I’ve got all my life to live.
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good answer
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Even better odds, perhaps, when I mention my son, who I refer to as the little prince, and could potentially lengthen that to the Little Prince of Denmark… and then, voila, two birds, one stone, as they say…
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We must make this happen! Except for the stone throwing.
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Ned, I’ve toyed with the idea of having teams on the Man(di) Cave. Teams who get asked to come back together. Is it safe to say that you’re happy with your team, and if so, can you please give me a team name?
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Rabid weasels… or the Honey Badgers…
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Ned, Art, and Matticus…
Hmm…
I’m going to have to go with “Team Woo”
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Oooh – I like that one.
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Please start rapping!!!
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What more could I say?
I wouldn’t be here today.
If the old school didn’t pave the way.
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6-feet-and over?
Team Scrotum?
Nerds with Nards?
Animal Husbandry?
I’m just throwing these out there, trying not to strain something.
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Representin’ yo… dog…
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That’s how we do
You know
Old school
for realz
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word(s)
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Don’t make me start rapping.
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I’ve known djmatticus for about 18 years now. Everything he says and writes about is a LIE! No, really, it’s not. He is the same guy in person as he is on his blog and answering questions. He was basically this guy back in High School and College (minus a few bumpy times).
He isn’t too good to be true, he is the real deal.
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Awe. Dang. Thanks for that.
I wouldn’t want you to feel left out either…
And I know you want it…
So…
Woo
You’re welcome.
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You had me at Woo
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Awe! 🙂 totally smiling.
Okay.,…
Sometimes we just got to do five things at the same time or we will never get done and have some time to relax.
Art, songs, flowers 🙂 Lucky lady Art. Plus you actually move the couch.
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Sometimes I think you just do five things at the same time to show-off… Sometimes. But, yes, there is always a lot to do, and the work has to get done before the rest and relaxation can happen. I get that. Sort of.
And, since this conversation is all about some hypothetical alternate reality, I am not at all uncofmortable suggesting that if you did each of the five things one at a time, you might, maybe, just maybe, the slightest hint of a possibility, find that you get them all done faster….
Or, I could be completely wrong. And, since I’m male, that is very likely.
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Right? Five or six or seven because if we’re not doing them all at the same time, then they’re never getting done at all, and how can we possibly relax with all of those seven, eight, or nine things lingering in the corners of our overly worked and excited minds?
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Oh… I move the heck out of the couch…
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My favorite Man(di) Cave evaa! I popped over to read Ned and fell in love with Matticus and Art, too. And, now the comments!! Holy hell! I’m dying over here. I have a high school baseball game to get to and all I wanna do is listen for the Woo, move couches, and get buckled into my car. You gentlemen rock!!
*walking away before I’m hooked any further.
HOOK! He should be the next victim, er, guest in the Cave.
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I know!!! I was lucky enough to read the answers first, and not gonna lie, it’s like a crush hat trick.
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Psst!
Woo
Enjoy the baseball game. *wink*
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*shivers*
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Ah dang! You caught me peeking 😉
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There’s nothing wrong with peeking.
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This is like tag-team wrestling… without the spandex… or the yelling… or the faking it… HA!
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Please… can we be; Team Honey Badger???
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You have to get your team to approve.
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But I’m bigger than they are… can’t I just threaten them with physical violence???
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You do what you have to do. I don’t make the rules. Oh wait, yes I do.
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I realize that this wouldn’t be in the spirit of the Sister Wives blog… on the other hand, picture the three of us… shirtless… battling for the favours of our Queen…
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*picturing*
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I could totally Photoshop that for you, you know…
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While I may battle… I don’t do it shirtless. I’m all skinny pasty white… nobody wants to see that, trust me.
But, come on Art… Team Honey Badger? We can do better than that, can’t we? I might be forced to throw down, shirtless or otherwise, pantless even, to ensure we aren’t called that going forward.
Oh, and yeah, for the favour of the (our) Queen(s), too, of course.
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This has been a blast. I’ve smiled more in the last couple hours playing here in the Man(di) cave with all of you than I have in a long time. So, thank you! Sadly, I’ll be signing off soon as I start my long trek home for the day and then I’ll be spending time with the Queen and Little Prince (where there will be more smiles, for sure). I might pop back in late tonight (and again tomorrow) to see what I missed and throw out a couple more woos.
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You are fabulous. And thanks for playing. Please come back if you can, and let your Queen know from all of the SisterWives, that she is a very lucky lady. Thanks, Matticus for being so present today!
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In both my personas too…
You are the fabulous ones, we just had the good fortune to ride your wave of positive awesomeness.
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Don’t listen to that DJ guy, he can’t be trusted.
All the glory are belong to us!!
Muahahahahahahahaha
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We can compromise on the name: Shirtless Honey Badgers.
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Shirtless Honey Woos
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SOLD!
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Agreed. That’s the winner.
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seriously… I am putting my shirt… and my pants… back on… we sound like a bad gang in an old kung fu movie
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Also, I was here way more than that pasty white guy… whether he is a dj or not… just sayin’…
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Which pastry possible dj white guy you referring to?
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well obviously not you, you swarthy fellow who knows nothing about a turntable and a microphone…
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Sadly there are only 4 turntables in my house right now. A 78 player, two direct drive technics, and a broken one I keep meaning to crack open and fiddle with, but never do, and zero microphones. Not a one. At one time I had 6 turntables and two microphones…
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You are like Beck squared…
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Don’t you mean two turn tables and a microphone
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I did, but that was a grammatically awkward sentence.
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This was great! What a great team…I think I read it somewhere in this crazy thread…”Shirtless Honey Woos”?? Perfect.
It would be the longest comment ever if I picked out everything I loved but I have to say Ned and Matticus, your wives are very lucky women. You all have a fantastic sense of humor and I love that Matticus thinks that women are only imperfect in an alternate reality!
You most definitely have to come back! Love, love, loved it!
I missed getting questions in this time but I got a few ideas while I was reading this…..
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Well, that was a kick… to the groin… HA! Don’t mind me… I might also have gone with; “hey, what am I, chopped liver?”
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Wait… are you chopped crack squirrel liver?
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that would be like cannibalism… sort of…
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See, I wasn’t sure. That’s why I asked.
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better safe than sorry
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Because I wouldn’t want you to miss out…
Woo
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Last night I randomly mentioned to my husband that I’d read a funny thing about how to woo a woman. He laughed.
This morning as we were waking up, he curled his half naked body around my half naked body and gently whispered, “Woo.”
Well, we nibbled on each other’s faces for a few minutes after that, despite a ginger cat trying to shove his ass into the middle of our attention. It was magical.
Thanks, men of the Man(di) Cave.
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That’s fabulous Carly!
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It worked?!?!?!
Oh..
Um…
I mean, of course it worked!
(hooray!)
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Our work here is done…
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You couldn’t have selected three cooler dudes, Wives.
(Just don’t tell Ned I said that.)
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I sort of feel like I’ve made it. The Hook commented on one of my posts (even though I didn’t really write it.)
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Why, back in my day, getting a Hook comment used to mean something. Now he shows up everywhere… and late, always late.
(In other news, you’d “made it” long before his comment here. You are fabulous, and I wish you good luck on your upcoming book release!)
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That was the best woo yet. Matticus, you are a lady’s man, and I am not mad about that.
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Thankee kindly, long days and pleasant nights, purveyor of bags and journier of the halls.
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That’s going into my bio!
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You got to the party just in time to help us clean up the empty bottles and puddles of vomit.
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