July
09
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In a world so quick to judge, just #BeReal
This is a first for SisterWives – not only are we on trend, but thanks to Hasty, we ARE the trend – yesterday, in response and outrage at the #DontJudgeMe tag (where people post ‘before and after’ pics of themselves in an Ugly Duckling transformation to show their (now) levels of beauty and acceptability), this amazing lady created a new hashtag, and it’s one we should ALL use – #BeReal.
We’re entrenched in a culture which objectifies and reduces people to the sum of their looks, and judges them on their outsides before the content of their character is ever known. We’re bought into the idea that in order to be acceptable, we have to look good. We’re paid-up, card-carrying members of a society which claims to hold higher ideals, and to prefer a good personality to a good figure, and which often shouts about wanting to teach the younger generations the value of being a good person rather than just looking yummy…and then we freak out (as I did) about our self-image and whether or not we can ever be acceptable the way we are, and spend ages taking a selfie so our hair falls just so and hides the zit between our eyes (never happened!) and getting a vague sense of disgust that we’re talking the talk, yet only walking the walk so long as we can look good doing it.
Oops!
Here’s the thing, though – we CAN combat this attitude, both in ourselves and in others, if we all work together and make it not just ‘okay’ but PREFERRED that people…well…#BeReal.
If it’s choosing to wear makeup and dressing to impress, then #BeReal. If it’s bare-faced and dressing for comfort and practicality, then #BeReal. If it’s sweaty and happy after a good workout, then #BeReal. If it’s hanging out with a beer, chillaxing, then #BeReal. If it’s enjoying good food and good company, then #BeReal. If it’s family time or snuggling with pets or curling up alone with a book or Netflix, then #BeReal, and SHOW IT!
We need to learn that however we treat our bodies, and however we present ourselves to the world, it is our SELVES, and not our presentation, which counts. It’s what we need to value in other people, and it’s what we need to learn to value for US.
So I have a challenge for you – I want you to take this hashtag and set it trending. I want you to share this post AS FAR AS YOU CAN, because Hasty’s message is important for EVERYONE, and already I’ve seen many, many people join in the movement, sharing their ‘just as I am right now’ selfies, and tagging to show that they can #BeReal…because let’s face it – once the filters are off, we can see the beautiful souls behind the screens so much more clearly.
The world is READY for this movement. Our body-obsessed culture NEEDS this movement. There is not a person who won’t benefit from a new way, which supports putting people first. Go on, #BeARebel – show yourself off, exactly as you are, because YOU ARE WONDERFUL.
Show yourself off on Twitter, on Instagram, on Facebook, on Tumblr, in Real Life, and be YOU. Be Beautiful. #BeReal.
The SisterWives 
I like #BeReal because it is a positive and gives us a place to hang our hats. Thanks for this!
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Right?!
I mean it is natural to judge but it would be nice to have the right standards in order to make healthy judgments. 🙂
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YES! People FIRST, then the cosmetics of them, at a later date.
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Word.
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Innit, blud! 😉
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Perfect! I’m late to the game since I’ve been mostly absent all week. I love this idea. So so much. It reminds me of the makeup free selfie movement that was all over about a year ago, that screamed of pressure to me. This is so much more inclusive and non judgmental. Just be YOU. ❤
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YES! I think that’s the fundamental difference – the makeup one seemed to suggest that people were ‘less than’ if they were super uncomfortable appearing without it. Ad that sucks and is NEVER the way to get people’s support.
It’s all about meeting people where they are – let’s celebrate US WHERE WE ARE, rather than trying to mold ourselves into something more acceptable.
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Mold or mould?
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Doesn’t really matter, does it, Larry? English or American – the meaning is clear.
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It’s more than ironic that in this age of being able to communicate faster and with more people than ever, we have morphed into a society desperate to create an image rather than #BeReal. I love this idea and definitely plan to be a part of the movement.
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You are awesome and I love how real you are in all that you do. 🙂
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For better or worse 😉
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Does this mean your selfies in a red thong? 🙂
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If that isn’t a true, unfiltered look, I don’t know what is…
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Yep….but it has to at least be a real red thong not an imaginary one. Cause then…that would be way TOO real.
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So, in a hashtag, #BeRealButNotTooReal? 🙂
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Lol #BeRealButNotRestrainingOrderReal 🙂
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Perrrrrrfect! I’m so pleased, Ned, because I already really enjoy the way you share the big moments of life as well as the silly and the fun and the utterly random…and I think it’s brilliant that you’re pretty much already living the #BeReal ideal.
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Thanks, Liz 😉 It’s taken a long time to strike that balance — and keeping it is an ongoing challenge. Sort of like riding a unicycle; just when you stop thinking about it is when you find yourself face-down in your neighbor’s kiddy pool (don’t ask). Having a certain level of silly in life keeps you grounded, gives you wings and reminds you not to worry about what others think.
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I’ve definitely got a level of silly going 🙂
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And it’s a beautiful thing 😉
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I’m very glad you think so, kind sir 🙂
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LIZZI Talk about turning a spur of the moment thought into a revolution. You amaze me and I love how you turn small snowflakes of good into big ‘ol snowballs of greatness. I love you…thank you for this lovely surprise 🙂
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You started something BIG, my Sunset, and I was watching in wonder as people latched onto the tag and LOVED sharing their real, and reveling in the encouragement and excitement from their friends. It was beautiful, and you made it happen. I just jumped on board and hoped that people would make it go even FURTHER across the online world, and I hope that still happens.
Thank you for your inspiration and always for your snowflakes. ❤
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Pingback: #BeReal | hastywords
awesome… unfortunately, I can’t get any more real than I already am… because I already refuse to bow to conformity… although I did just post those pictures of my scraggly new beard as it tries to take over my face… I guess that is pretty real…
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You are one of the most real ON-line people I know 🙂
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That’s a good thing… right? HA!
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Now now, surely that means you’re ahead of the game?
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I always thought so.
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There, then 😀
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yay
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I must say it was kind of scary posting an UN-photoshoped selfie of publicly on Facebook. I’m not really one for selfies. You’ve been friends with me up there and in that time I may have never done the selfie thing, ur maybe just once.
I was quite surprised at all the compliments I got, hair in a messy tie, no make up, not wearing anything fancy. 🙂
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You should do it way more often!
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Serins, you totally ROCKED that selfie, and you looked so smiley and warm, and I hope that you might think it’s okay to do it a whole lot more – the people who complimented you were genuinely happy to see YOU, because we like you heaps 😀
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I saw your selfie, Serins. It was beautiful.
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🙂 Thank you.
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I love this idea! The hashtag is excellent however, you won’t see me posting selfies. It’s not something I do. The photo on instagram of my yoga pose that I mentioned here, was really out there for me and no filter. I will definitely spread this message though, Lizzie!
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Your profile pic is wonderful and the smile looks real 🙂
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That’s your real, Lisa, and that’s FINE, right? Thanks for sharing the message though – always so happy to have your support 🙂 🙂
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You KNOW I love this almost as much as I love my SisterWives! Hasty, this is such an important message! Thank you for being you! xoxo
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She’s a brilliant, other-people-focussed, WONDERWOMAN!
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Who??? That’s you Lizzi 🙂
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It’s US x
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THANK YOU for being you and your last post was super awesome and inspiring.
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As a person who has a Twitter account but never looks at it, I get all flabbergasted when I learn that people use Twitter as…all kinds of things. And very often I read about people getting emotionally battered, snarked, trolled, stalked, and otherwise abused, and I wonder why they continue to use the thing; or at least they could use it in a manner that does not bring traumatic images of 8th grade to mind. I’m very glad to see that being real is being embraced (“trending”?) by the Twitterites. That is good. I don’t see the fun in NOT being real. For heaven’s sake, one would have to go to extremes to keep up an image–take, for instance, Elton John. Now THERE’S someone who has taken his not-real and made it real! I don’t know if he wears his Liberace (now there’s another one) suits in the house, or whether his dressing gown is covered with rhinestones and sequins. Probably real diamonds. Or maybe Neal Diamonds, who knows. Then we know that there are people who have different kinds of “real” selves. People with DID, certainly. But look at Amy Winehouse, may she finally get some peace. She was real, as real, as real, whether she was being herself at home, usually depressed and drugged out, looking like hell, or on the stage in her outlandish hair and costumes, on a good night singing her huge tortured heart out. She was REAL. #REAL.
Yes, I have been talking about “celebrities,” because I think that’s where a large percentage of people in the electronically connected world get their images of what “real” is. I haven’t watched TV in years, as evidenced by my reference to Liberace (anybody here remember him? He was the first tacitly out gay performer on the TV variety show scene). So the grocery store checkout line serves as my education in popular culture: “Which Kardashian had the biggest booty when she was preggers?” shouts a tabloid headline. Who gives a shit? Apparently, enough people to make the tabloids profitable. Eek!
I read an interview with Cher about how her fans were starting to grumble regarding her plethora of plastic surgeries–this was before Michael Jackson–and her response?
“If I want to take my tits and put ’em on my back, it’s my goddam business.”
Hmm. Real, or not real? I say real. Definitely.
So in the process of writing this, I’ve come to the conclusion that everything is real, and if somebody is self-conscious about that zit between their eyes, that’s, like, REALLY real, and I know that particular pain. Thank God that I don’t know about a lot of other pains, but I honor them as real, and if somebody has to have their navel surgerized in order to feel OK, well, that’s their reality, and even though it’s not something I would personally do, I honor their need to do it, even though I don’t understand it.
Thanks for promoting reality in the form of self-acceptance, which is precious hard to do, especially with all of the outside pressure raining in on people’s lives from the outside.
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I’ve decided I suddenly very much like Cher. What an awesome response!
Twitter is used entirely too much for the nefarious and the just plain dumb, but it can also be a bit of a hoot to chat to people and have a bit of a flirt, just because you can…
I think honouring other people’s real-to-them pains as real, is a wonderful thing, and I’m glad you do it. Thank you for taking the time to give such considered feedback.
And we’re always glad to promote body-positivity and self-acceptance, hopefully in the end, even other-acceptance!
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There are a few mentions here of people using filters on selfies, and I must confess I usually post unfiltered pics of myself anyway because I am too lazy to bother editing them. Does that make me #SuperReal? 😛
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I don’t know! I often use filters.
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Reblogged this on Wasted Days And Wasted Nights and commented:
Wise words.
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Thank you so so much for sharing this further xo
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I’ve been pondering these thoughts of self-image recently; more so since Beth’s post last week. It is something I wrestle with, as you know. I love this #BeReal – because it’s whatever your own Real is. It’s accepting all the bits that go to make up yourself. Mine include being a Restoration Redhead, Max Factor Lipfinity 070 for my pouty lips, double shot Americano in my hand….and a wee blue birdie who sings for my soul.
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And an amazing sense of style, right? This is the thing – it’s YOU, in that moment. Beautiful, wonderful, acceptable, however-you-are YOU 🙂
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I am so very grateful for all of our differences.
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Absolutely. It’s what keeps life interesting!
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Pingback: Trying, Trying, Trying To #BeReal | momaste
Hey Lizzi 🙂
This is GOLD. Please may we re-publish on Kindness Blog and link back etc?
Thank you.
Best, Mike.
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Yes! Yes! Definitely 🙂 Thank you 🙂 Glad you’re back in the ‘Sphere 🙂
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Aww thank you for your kind words and blessing to share. High—>5! *ThWaCK*!!! 🙂
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We’ve just gone ‘live’… http://kindnessblog.com/2015/07/10/in-a-world-so-quick-to-judge-just-bereal-by-lizzi-rogers/
Thank you again Kind lady! 🙂
Best, Mike.
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You’re amazing, Mike – THANK YOU 🙂 *hi-fives you back*
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Reblogged this on MWGS: Mom, Writer, Geek, Superwoman and commented:
This was very encouraging to me today. One of my deepest desires and wishes is that we can all – men and women – find ourselves beautiful just as we are. There’s nothing wrong with working to be healthy and strong but we are still a thing of beauty regardless. ^_^
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ABSOLUTELY, and the whole point is that we need to learn to find beauty in ourselves in our uglinesses the same way we find beauty in those we love when they perceive their own uglinesses. I’m very glad you found this encouraging today and thank you for sharing it further 🙂
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Whatever is comfortable!! Why should anyone be held to a single standard!! You gals rock!!
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Thank you Roshni – I just think Hasty is such a wonderful lady with SUCH good ideas and determination to combat the crap that’s out there. I love that about her 🙂
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Seriously Lizzi my head has gotten 5 sizes bigger since I’ve met you. I may need a lobotomy
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LOL don’t you dare do ANYTHING to stymie that beautiful mind of yours 🙂
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What an awesome idea. So many girls think that they need makeup or highlights or new clothes to look beautiful – and society convinces them they’re right to think it. Well done!
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Society has a financial interest in making them think that way. Hasty has a heart-interest in helping them NOT think that way. Hers is stronger and with our support, it will WIN.
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This is such a positive thing.
🙂
I often have written about my thoughts on not wearing makeup. It’s further complicated by the fact I can’t see to look at myself in the mirror. I try hard to be real, but this is difficult for me to do with pictures I can not see. And so I write. I am most myself when I write.
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Yeah – I don’t think anyone should need to wear makeup to feel real or acceptable, and I think that we all need to know that lesson that it’s okay to NOT have warpaint on in order to still look good and entirely yourself.
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Reblogged this on and commented:
#BeReal
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Thank you so much 🙂 🙂
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Of course! So excited to be a part of this 🙂
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ME TOO! And so glad you’re on board.
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Pingback: LOOKING FOR #BeReal POETRY SUBMISSIONS | hastywords
I just want to thank Lizzi for turning a simple thought into such a wonderful campaign. She see’s something worthwhile and she convinces the world that it is indeed something to behold. Thank you for giving me something good to focus on and for making me feel like I am contributing to something nice.
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Not just a simple thought – maybe it was throwaway to you, but it absolutely encapsulated what Beth started and what Mandi and I tried to continue, and it’s what I’ve always tried to promote – the idea that PEOPLE matter first – not their looks or their successes or failures – their humanity; their inherent worth. And you made it happen in one fell swoop, and I watched, in awe, as people began to respond because you tapped into something Deep and Good.
And I just wanted to help 🙂 ❤
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I’m late to the game because I’ve been on vacation with my family – but I just have to say, this is why I love ha, Lizzie even though I stalk more than contribute these days. This is talk we need. My real is that I don’t leave the house without under eye concealer or a touch of mascara, thanks to hereditary under eye circles and blond lashes that make me look squinty and tired. At some point it stopped being vanity and became practicality as I get comments of “are you feeling ok?” if I don’t apply the minimum – and that made me feel less than me. It’s about making me feel good, and it’s my real. And isn’t that what it should be?
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YES! Your real is what life’s like for you, and not being afraid to say it – if you have blonde eyelashes and dark circles you’re more comfy minimising with eye makeup then WHY NOT! I see no reason you should have to sacrifice your preference for how you present yourself and prostrate yourself on the alter of some BS hashtag, just to glean a smidgen of acceptance from the other people who like that hashtag.
This is a hashtag which (I hope) embraces people, rather than sanctions their look.
I hope you had a gorgeous vacation. Late to the game is FINE when you have such a lovely priority to enjoy 🙂 (what do you mean ‘stalk’? 😉 )
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Oooo! I so very much love this. These days especially, my life is all about being real. I don’t even know how to be otherwise without intestinal repercussions. I’m not a makeup wearing gal most of the time, but I like to wear some jewelry. If I forget to put earrings on, I feel like I’m really missing something. My former life as a ship’s officer, with working split shifts and rotating shifts was not conducive to being well rested or giving a crap about how I looked. Since I woke up, spiritually, a few years ago, my life has been all about healing from childhood trauma, and healing physical woes. There is no place for inauthenticity in healing. Besides, I have discovered I’m pretty much a human bullshit detector.
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That must be a very frustrating thing sometimes, to be able to see everyone’s BS. I turn a blind eye sometimes, because it’s easier. I think sometimes my ‘real’ needs a little bullshit armour.
I’m glad you’re healing – that sounds challenging but incredibly worthwhile.
And if jewellery and no makeup is real for you, then awesome 🙂
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I don’t get frustrated with people nearly as much as I used to. Expecting them to be something they’re not, leads to frustration. Nowadays, I just go, “Oh, I see how you are.” And if I can’t or don’t want to deal with, I don’t. Once in a long while, I’ll call someone on their crap. But it has to be really important to me for that to happen.
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Seems fair. You have good strategies in place 🙂
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