September
23
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Baby, Look At You: The Challenge
Yesterday, I wrote a post about self worth and how we are our own worst critics. The responses really weighed on me and I felt as though I ‘opened a can of worms’ as it was so aptly put by one of my fellow Sisterwives.
I know we are a group that writes on the more sensitive subjects and sometimes that may bring forth negative feelings, not only from us but from our readers as well. Yesterday’s post did just that. Don’t get me wrong, the message was well received and everyone was very gracious; it was just hard to see so many of you with so little self worth.
It is never easy to look at yourself, especially if you have had difficulties in your life or have never been shown how to love yourself. However, I believe we can all find the good in ourselves and we can nurture that good. Every person who commented on the post yesterday is known by one, a few, or even all of the Sisterwives. We are very well aware of the talent and goodness in each of you.
Today I am putting forth a challenge.
If you read the post yesterday, today I want you to give me one thing…ONE THING…about yourself that you find positive. Not what someone else tells you but something about yourself that you find valuable. If you have two, or even three or four, bring them to me.
Because I really need to hear them. Just as badly as you do.
This is an exercise in being part of the solution. Will it magically erase all of the bad stuff we believe about ourselves? No. Of course not.
But it is a beginning. What you choose to do next is up to you.
If you didn’t get a chance to read the post then click here. Read it, weigh in if you wish, then come back here to this post and show me some self love.
I’ll start:
I am a good listener. I listen when someone needs to talk and even if I don’t have a solution to the problem, I listened. Sometimes that is all someone needs.
I give. I give of my time, my talent, and my money to those less fortunate. I do it because it’s the good and right thing to do. I expect nothing in return.
I deserve every bit of love I have in my life today.
Your turn…..
photo credit: Alba Soler Photography via photopin cc
The SisterWives 
This is difficult…. you know I have been thinking hard on this very topic for the last few weeks and in all my positives I can see flaws…..
i.e I can counter each and every one of them with negatives…
e.g: I am caring (good) – I let people walk all over me (bad)
For those who know me, you will know that I suffer from a very bad case of depression…. My councillor has advised that the root cause of this depression is indeed the fact that I have self-hate and practically un-forgiveness towards myself. So loving myself and accepting my own flaws would be the key to getting over being depressed…..
So at least I can say that I am self-reflective. It is a good thing I wager.
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How about we leave it at 1)you are caring and 2)your are self reflective. Fight the good fight, Serins. Only the good today…if only for a few moments. Okay?
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okay….
I am creative and artistic and have some good photshop editing skills.
🙂
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ATTAGIRL! You’ve been the first to make my morning, Serins!
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Well I enjoy to make peoples morning…. so there is another one.. 🙂
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Yep. You’re rolling. I’m here all day so if you think of anything else…..
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I know exactly what you mean. I was going to respond with “I care, but sometimes I care too much.” 😉
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Well I got another one…. I can see the beauty in others…. I wager that is a really good thing.
And I’m lovin the comments on this post. Way to go Sandy, Way to go.
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Dangggg you’re a star for finding a way to turn the post around 🙂 GOOD FOR YOU.
Okay, so.
I am loyal to a fault. I give good presents. I love (and love and love) the people who matter to me. I am pragmatic. I am determined to find Silver Linings to life. I’m good at words. And I cook nice food (when it’s not box cake).
Yay!!!! That was easier than I thought. Thank you Sandy 🙂 ♡♡♡
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Woohoo! That’s what I’m talking about! You are indeed all of those things and you don’t give good presents…you give EPIC presents! I love this and I better be getting ‘real’ cake when you come to ‘Murica!
Oh….you’re welcome. And thank YOU!
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D’Awwwwwh *twinklysmiles* you are gonna get SUCH good cake…
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I am sexy. No, really — fucking hawt. I’m pushing I’m not saying, and my legs still get looks. But enough about my physical appearance — I have a fantastic sense of humour — and this isn’t something people say about me — which I don’t get. I’m brave — some might not think so, but I call myself a dilettante with pride, not shame. I’ve re-branded it to reflect my artistic bravery. There’s nothing I won’t try, even if I fail spectacularly at it. I think that my sordid life has made me wise in some ways, and if I were writing nice things about myself, I’d say that when I see someone who could benefit from my wisdom, I am the type of person to reach out and help. I pride myself in my rationality and reason — I can calmly deconstruct a crisis and find the way out of it — sometimes I think it’s that ability that has kept me alive all these years.
And then there’s this thing that I can do with my hips… kidding…. or am i?
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Wow! When you are accept a challenge, you ACCEPT a challenge. This is an amazing list. I would imagine you are quite sexy (if the mental pic in my head is close to accurate) and you do have a terrific sense of humor (no ‘u’….American). This is amazing! I’m just waiting for others to chime in on the hips thing now….
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“And then there’s this thing that I can do with my hips…”
Pics or it didn’t happen.
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Those pictures have all been destroyed by court order.
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A crafty dilettante like yourself would have kept the negatives…
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There was never a doubt TD would be the one. Said with love, my friend. Nothing but love.
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I embrace my smartass-ness.
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As well you should. I’m quite proud of mine as well. Smartasses UNITE!
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Woohoo! And sarcasm for all!
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I read your post yesterday, but did not read the comments so apparently I missed a whole lot of teeth gnashing???
I care.
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Not really teeth gnashing. It was just hard to see so many fantastic people with negative images of themselves. I wanted to come back today and turn that around. Perhaps that’s selfish on my part, to make people think on it because I know for some it isn’t easy, but it is what it is. I’m not sorry.
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It’s never bad to try to motivate people to think of their goodness.
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I agree and thank you! I appreciate that.
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It’s interesting. I didn’t read your post yesterday as an invitation or opportunity to bemoan all my failings. I read it as an opportunity to see myself in a positive light and feel good about myself.
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That’s good to know! It’s always interesting to see how my writing is interpreted but it just felt a little heavy. What better way to lighten it a little with a good old fashioned self love fest!
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I have a great speaking voice (not so great singing..but I do anyway). I am honest and loyal. I have sexy feet. I don’t love easily, but when I do, it is deep.
This is hard.
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I can’t sing worth a flip either but do it anyway. Loudly, too! May I add to this for you? I think you are super funny and a talented writer. You forgot those…
You did good!
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I would LOVE to be able to say that and mean it…I’m still working on that. But thank you..it’s nice to hear.
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Most people who know me would agree that I’m pretty awesome. I know how to laugh at myself and the darndest things that happen to me, such as the stalkers and naked attackers and perv landlords. I’m a survivor – despite having lived in a haunted house.
I have my life under control. I wish I could say the same about the photoshop (haven’t been to my blog today, have you?) but what the hell! I’m awesome!
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I haven’t been yet but you know I’m going now! I love the confidence in this comment….and yes! You are indeed awesome. (I’ll get back to you on that photoshop thing ;).)
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I’m also immodest, but I don’t think that’s the point of the post, so I’ll shut up. Yes, I’m wise, too!
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I consider myself to be funny, caring, understanding, and a good listener.
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Yes you are…all of those things and more! I’m glad you’re here :).
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Me, too!
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I concur. 🙂
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Like???
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You are that nice guy! 🙂
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No, no, no. When you concur, you must do so like a doctor!! Have you not read the mandate?
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So often I don’t quite “get” things. I blame it on English not being my first language (and maybe too much wine). I have tries to master this language but still need help. ?
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Haha. It’s not a language thing. It’s a TD thing…
http://td421.wordpress.com/2013/01/02/customer-service-fails-isnt-that-what-a-doctor-does/
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OMG, that’s hilarious! I didn’t know you back then so no, I didn’t get the mandate! The language thing does still get me at times. 🙂
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Well, you have it now, so yay!!
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*tried. You see what I mean?
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I love fiercely. I care about people and have a deep desire to help others feel loved. I have a nice smile. I’ll put someone else’s needs before my own if I sense that they really need someone to talk to. Thank you 🙂
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All good things, my new friend. All good things! Thank you so much for sharing them.
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ummm… this is almost embarrassing, but I am just loaded down with good things about me… so, in the spirit of this important post, I will share the most important one… I make almost every baby and little kid I see smile… I have an array of funny sounds and stuff I do, and I don’t quit until I get at least a smile.
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That happens to Husby. Not on purpose – he doesn’t do anything…they just…smile at him.
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I do that too, but I like to build from there. never trust a man that dogs and babies don’t like
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Now there’s a way to gauge a person 🙂
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If you only have one way to judge a man, that is as good as any. I don’t care how nice their clothes are, what car they drive, where they work, their personal grooming habits or the fact that they ‘seem’ nice. Half the psycho cannibals out there have some neighbor who tells the news reporter that they ‘seemed’ nice. The guy might have all that stuff up there going for him, but if you hand him three random babies and two of them cry, or if dogs tend to cringe or stick their tails between their legs when he approaches, just stay the heck away from him.
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Nothing to be embarrassed about. I love it! Funny thing, my husband has that same effect on kids…and dogs. The ever elusive ‘they’ do say that kids and dogs have a sixth sense when it comes to good men. So, I’m with ya!
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I am rarely wrong… even though I am a man… another good thing about me, I guess.
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So true! Kids and dogs have a sense about people. I totally believe that. I knew you were good people, Art!
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Never argue with babies or dogs… HA!
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I feel confident in saying I can make people laugh. Usually with my clothes on. So I’ve got that going for me…
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I’ll give you all the courtesy laughs you want if you keep them on…
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I’m not sure who would be being more courteous, you for laughing or me for keeping them on.
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I think we can be equally courteous in this instance.
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Agreed, TD 😉
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Well, you did a pretty good job of making me laugh. You and TD make a good comedy tag team! On a serious note, there are only a few things I appreciate more than being made to laugh.
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I like that I’m willing to try new things and stick to them. I’m tenacious and don’t give up easy. I love meeting new people and I love to make people feel good about themselves by noticing their good qualities and telling them (even strangers). So, I deserve the love I have in my life 🙂
Thank you Sandy for this post. I’m going to read everyone’s comments b/c I love to hear the positive, too!
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Wow! This is quite a list and so nice to see. I especially like willingness to try new things. That’s important, I think. As for being tenacious, hello soul sister! I really love this and am really grateful to you for sharing this here today.
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I LOVE this Sandy. Even if it feels uncomfortable we should all do it. I think my best quality is I can always see the good in people. (I want to qualify that with a “but”, but I won’t). I am an optimist and I’m a fighter- I mean, I won’t stay down, I’ll keep trying and working and persevering.
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I had a but in my original comment (not a butt, a but), but decided in the spirit of the post that I should delete it.
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And I appreciate that very much, TD.
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I kind of surprised myself when I thought “but…” I wouldn’t have even recognized I was doing it if it weren’t for the whole point of Sandy’s post. Kinda makes you realize how often we do it…
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Sad, ain’t it?
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Yes. And I’m going to make an effort to stop doing it. Thanks to Sandy… I may become downright obnoxious…
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And OMG, as I type that, I’m saying to myself “What if they think you’re obnoxious already?” Daaaammmnnn! I can’t even make a joke without criticizing myself!
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Lmao
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Thank you, Gretchen. I agree…stepping out of our comfort zone can sometimes be rewarding. I hope this works just a tiny bit of magic somehow. Optimism is a phenomenal quality to have, as is being a fighter. I could use a little work on being optimistic (although this post really discredits that) but I am definitely a fighter. I have no doubt that very little would stop you!
Thank you for not using ‘but’.
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Thank you Sandy! And thank you for this. I am usually not too hard on myself, only on occasions and with certain things. But I feel completely uncomfortable saying anything positive about myself. It feels vain or arrogant. But I would never think that when someone else says something positive about themselves. Your whole exercise here kind of blew my mind. It made me realize that on the surface I’m ok with me, but I do say “but” a lot to minimize anything positive I may say or think about myself. I wouldn’t have realized it if I hadn’t tried to respond to this! So my thoughts about myself apparently always come with a qualifier or something to negate the good stuff. Wow. I just learnt somethin’ here!
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I have the perfect smile. I didn’t do anything to get it such as wear braces. My teeth just grew in perfect.
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That’s awesome, Pattie! And lucky you!
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Well, I don’t like to brag. So there. :))
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Good stuff here. It’s weird how difficult this can be. I recently had to write down three things I was proud of. It took a while to think through, because I tend to muddle up definitions of words like “proud.”
Okay, so my thing: I am good at sitting with people while they’re going through not so great things.
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Yes, it is surprisingly hard. But worth it, I hope.
You know, Aussa, that is one amazing thing. That is a difficult thing to do for a lot of people because of the intensity of the emotion when someone is going through the not so great things. It can be very uncomfortable. Good for you. That is definitely something to be proud of and I am sure that the people you sat with are grateful.
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Great sequel to your original post. I am not ashamed to say that I have a big heart and love scattering kindness! 🙂
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Thank you! You should definitely not be ashamed of a big heart. And I consider your comment scattering kindness…I love that!
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I am compassionate and love my friends completely. I am fiercely loyal. I am creative and dreamy and stubborn and brave. I can smile through pain. I have an insane memory and spidey hearing. And I’m always available to give a hug, kiss a boo-boo and tuck you in at night. Oh wait, that was on the list of what I looking for in a partner. ooops. Well I give the love I seek.
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This is excellent! You should have mentioned your sense of humor. I had to laugh out loud when you said ‘spidey hearing’…so do I. It kills my kids!
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It is a highly underrated superpower. Yes, Add sense of humor. It is one my favorite traits and pulls me through when life begins to sling the p…..
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WP needs to change the ‘LIKE’ button on this post to ‘LOVE’.
ok, here goes: I am honest and straightforward, a loyal friend, and a good listener. I am also a great organizer and not afraid of change or trying new things.
This is still hard. 😉
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It may have been hard but you knocked it out of the park! I love your list. I think not being afraid of change is huge. That is something I wish I was better with. I don’t like change at all.
I should also thank you for the incredible compliment. So thank you!
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I’m strong if only because I am still here.
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Hasty, you being here is an incredible thing. I mean that from the bottom of my heart.
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Holy smokes, Sandy. These comments! Wow! We might need to make this a weekly thing. Like #dickpunchthursday only with affirmations, accolades and praise for ourselves. The responses are wonderful.
So now you probably want to hear what mine are. It didn’t take me long. I have a pretty high opinion of myself. So here it goes:
I’m humble…kidding.
I am funny and smart (sometimes smartassy). I am strong, physically and mentally. I am a good, true friend who will always step up and try to spread a little sunshine whenever possible but will also have your back at all costs. I am bold and not afraid to say what I think, but I can do it diplomatically because I’m also kind. I like what I see in the mirror most of the time. I’m a good mom and a good…dare I even say it out loud…writer.
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It is something, isn’t it? I am elated! Doing this periodically might be a good thing….like free therapy. Hmm….
You are all of these things, I know. I even know about the physical strength because it takes some to do a true hurkey! I also know how kind you are, especially when you are saying what you think. You do it in such a way that no one gets their feelings hurt and that, my friend, is a gift.
You are a beautiful person, Mandi. Inside and out. Truth.
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I make the best oatmeal-chocolate chip cookies of anyone I know. Take ’em out a little bit raw, always, right? They’ll cook a bit on top of the stove if they need to.
Love the comments here, such as PMAO’s one about the guy who seemed nice, but babies and dogs don’t like him. “He seemed so nice, but, now that I think of it, he did have that pallet-load of lime delivered that one time, and he always seemed to be digging under the trailer. And the neighbors kept losing their dogs. And then we started losing neighbors. Hmm.”
I think a lot of us could say this: “When I’m not overcome with the negative, I’m funnier than fuck.”
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Yep, I think you’re right! All you have to do is read through some of this thread and see a few I’ve been in on Facebook and there is no doubt that these people are funnier than fuck. I dare anyone to argue that point.
Oh, yeah. I’m gonna need a sample of those cookies. You know, for research.
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Pingback: Your hang-ups are unattractive | Considerings
OK. Today, unprompted, I offered to help two people who I’m worried about.
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First of all, I hope these two people are going to be okay.
For some people, asking for help is extremely hard so when someone has the ability and forethought to offer help without having to be asked, it is nothing short of a godsend.
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I am compassionate. I am intelligent. I am sensitive. I am loving. I am sexy.
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Way to step up to the challenge, Kitt! Great list.
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I love to boast. 🙂 Now all I need is a stage and a spotlight.
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No better spotlight than a blog, is there? You have the world as your audience…literally.
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Thank you for this challenge.
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Well, you are welcome. Thank you for taking part. It means a great deal.
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I can write. I can write what I cannot say. Writing makes me feel alive. xx
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And what a voice you have, Kim! I’m so glad you write.
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I have pretty, blue eyes – especially when I “smize” – and long, long eyelashes. I’m intelligent and I can learn new things (and usually retain them) easily. I’m a great mom with great kids who love me back. I’m brave enough to be afraid and still power through – to dig deep into those uncomfortable places in my psyche and work on healing them.
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Oh jeez! Get out with your long, long eyelashes already!
Sorry…what I meant to say was that’s awesome! Mine are short. I got robbed in the eyelashes department. I’m seriously very happy for you and maybe one of these days I’ll get to see those pretty blue eyes in person. I believe all of these things about you, Jana and I’m beyond grateful that you believe them too.
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What’s a ‘smize’?
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I believe it’s when you smile with your eyes.
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I guess you don’t have America’s Top Model in England (which makes sense, as it’s England and not America :). Tyra Banks coined the phrase — it’s when your eyes are all intense for the camera. You can Google it and see examples (or perhaps I’ll take a picture of my eyes while I do it and post it).
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Post your eyes – I’m worried about what Google might chuck out for that! And perhaps we do but I don’t have a tv, so *I* don’t anyway. Is it like ‘sparrow face’?
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I love my bubbly personality!!!!!
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That’s a good one! I like bubbly personalities. I don’t have one and that might be why! Thanks for joining in!
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I haven’t read the other post yet, but I’m gonna. And I have recently discovered I am usually optimistic, usually cheerful 3 weeks of the month and generally let other people’s negativity slide right off me. But then, I have to!
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Sandy, this is breathtaking – look at what you DID 😀 *punches the air* 😀
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Thank you. I feel like saying anything more would show a lack of humility. Besides, THEY did this. These people, all wonderful and good, dug in and found things. They get the credit…they didn’t have to step up. But, boy, did they ever!
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Sandy, I bow to you.
The other day, I said how kinda bummed I was that so many amazing people don’t see it about themselves.
So this was genius.
Now. On to me. Hmmmmm….
I’m a good cook and baker.
I am physically strong.
I laugh a lot. I’m an enthusiastic laugher.
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No need to bow. I just stuck my finger in the dam. It was a little overwhelming the other day and it needed to be turned around. Our readers are incredible!
Kudos to you for the cooking….it is my least favorite thing to do so I admire anyone who does it and does it well.
And, yes, you do indeed have an enthusiastic and infectious laugh!
You should add ballsy to that list. Uncensored, unashamed, unafraid.
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I thought it would be much easier. But thumbs up for starting this Sandy, it’s a brilliant idea.
I am a good friend, a shoulder you can cry on.
I empathyze with most people
I love life.
I did it, thanks to you! It feels good to read all these fabulous comments, coming from fabulous people…
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To my friends and family I am loyal, caring, and generous.
To myself I am persistent, dedicated, strong, and confident.
To my lover I am all hers and try my best to make her happy.
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Wow! Those are some amazing qualities to know about yourself…and they show through even over the internet, Phil. They really do.
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I am a good mum and I make people laugh 🙂
Thanks for the challenge!
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I’m so glad you stopped by! And you listed two very important things. I hope to be seeing more of you here in our little sphere…have a great weekend!
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Sometimes I’m funny and I am very responsible.
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I am kind; I am responsible. I care for others. And I’m bloody organized!
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I haven’t commented on yesterday’s post yet, but I have to say that I’m really motivated and I can make things happen by sheer determination. It’s something about myself that I really am grateful to have.
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How happy I am to read all of these. What a great to come back after a heavy post that spoke about something so important. I hope you put “empathy” on your list, cuz that is what happened to you when you found your heart heavy. Empathy is such a wonderful gift to have, but it’s a bit draining, right?
Anyhoo…I owe you a trait for the challenge.
I can rock like nobody’s business when I’m singing all by myself in the car. Also, I don’t judge anyone for anything–I know that most folks have a story behind their eyes, smiles and actions. Who am I to judge if I don’t live in their shoes?
You are a beautiful person, Sandy. So glad our paths crossed. xo
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oh I love this companion to the first post! Here is my list:
1. I have a great sense of humor
2. I’m the cool-headed one in emergencies
3. I have empathy like a MOFO.
4. I can hang with the guys as easily as the girls
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Reblogged this on Cackles.From.A.Mad.Duck and commented:
Thankful Friday – you all deserve to be praised
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I like most people but I love a few deeply and completely.
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